The Driving Forces Affecting Your Thoughts and Behaviors.
The purpose is for you to notice and experience more peak (joy, connection, insight, and awe) experiences.
Maslow's hierarchy of needs is a model for understanding the driving forces motivating human thoughts and behavior. It starts with physiological (survival) needs at the bottom and moves to psychological needs at the top. People often pursue multiple needs at the same time. It may not be absolute, and it is a good starting point.
1. Physiological Needs - Basic survival needs: breathing, food, water, sex, sleep, homeostasis
“I can’t self-actualize on an empty stomach." - Author
Universal (Human Family) Obstacles:
Food insecurity, chronic sleep issues, dis-ease, lack of access to clean water or healthcare
Psychologically there could be a disconnection or dissociation from the body (due to trauma or stress)
Mental Health Strategies:
Somatic Therapy: Helps individuals reconnect with their body’s cues—rest, hunger, stress, and safety.
Sex-Positive Therapy: Explores shame, desire, and consent with compassion.
Facts:
2.2 billion people lack access to safely managed drinking water.
Over 735 million people are undernourished (FAO, 2023).
Black men in the U.S. have the shortest life expectancy of any major demographic—around 70 years, compared to 76.5 for white men (CDC, 2023). Medical racism reduces quality care, particularly in pain management and sexual health.
Peak Experiences:
• Taking a deep, calming breath.
• Drinking clean water.
• Eating a warm, nourishing meal when hungry.
• Safe, consensual, emotionally connected touch.
• Waking up fully rested.
2. Safety Needs - Personal security, health, financial stability, safety from violence or disasters, morality (law and order).
Universal Obstacles:
Financial instability, unsafe living environments, job insecurity
Emotional threats: abuse, instability, chronic stress, systemic violence
Mental Health Strategies:
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Helps reframe fear-based beliefs and builds agency (sense of control over self and environment).
Safety Planning & Boundary Work: Identify and set boundaries to protect emotional and physical wellbeing. Especially important in relationships, jobs, or environments that are toxic.
Facts:
An estimated 1.6 billion people live in inadequate housing; 100+ million are homeless (UN-Habitat, 2023).
Anxiety and depression disorders affect over 1 billion people, many of whom feel unsafe in their inner world (WHO, 2023). While Black men experience high rates of depression and PTSD (often from trauma and racism), they are less likely to receive treatment—due to stigma and systemic mistrust (Mental Health America, 2023).
1 in 3 Black men born in 2001 is projected to face incarceration in his lifetime (The Sentencing Project, 2021).
Black men are over 2.5 times more likely to be killed by police than white men (PNAS, 2019).
Peak Experiences:
• Signing a lease or receiving keys to a safe home.
• Receiving a healing in the body or mind.
• Getting a job or financial breakthrough that ends instability.
• Experiencing protection or intervention.
• Walking freely in your neighborhood without fear of dying.
3. Love and Belonging - Friendships, romantic relationships, family bonds, social connections, sense of community.
“Love takes off the masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within.” - James Baldwin
Universal Obstacles:
Loneliness, isolation, toxic relationships, fear of vulnerability
Lack of family support or community rejection (due to identity, beliefs, etc.)
Mental Health Strategies:
Attachment Based Therapies: Heals early attachment wounds and loneliness, reconnecting with the inner child.
Narrative Therapy: Rewrites the story around love, connection, and family roles.
Grief Counseling: Makes space for loss of belonging.
Facts:
In the U.S., 61% of adults feel lonely; similar rates are rising globally (Cigna Global, 2022).
Many Black men report feeling emotionally disconnected due to cultural pressure to be “strong” or stoic (APA, 2022). stereotypes like "strong Black man" hinder intimacy.
Peak Experiences:
• Being told “I love you” and truly believing it.
• Feeling seen and understood.
• Reuniting with family or healing a fractured relationship.
• Holding someone’s hand or feeling completely connected.
• Authentically, laughing or crying with close friends.
4. Esteem - Lower Esteem: Respect from others (sense of worth via approval, attention, and recognition, and validation from status, praise, and likes and motivation to be seen, admired, and accepted). Higher Esteem: Self Respect (worth from integrity, internal growth, and values and validation from self-reflection, competence, and purpose and motivation grow, contribute, live authentically)
Universal Obstacles:
Low self-worth, comparison, imposter syndrome, rejection
External validation dependency or internalized shame
Mental Health Strategies:
Strengths-Based Therapy: Focuses on what’s right with you, not what’s wrong.
Internal Family Systems (IFS): Works with inner “parts” that feel unworthy or rejected.
Affirmation Practices: Supported by neuroscience, helps rebuild self-regard over time.
Facts:
Generational trauma can breed internalized racism or doubt.
Constant racial gaslighting can erode confidence and self-worth.
Underrepresentation in leadership and media skews self-image.
Imposter syndrome: Affects up to 70% of people across gender, race, and profession at some point (Harvard Business Review, 2020).
Peak Experiences:
• Receiving sincere praise for your unique gifts.
• Graduating, getting a promotion, or achieving a personal goal.
• Standing up for yourself with confidence and grace.
• Being recognized by your peers or community.
• Looking in the mirror and truly liking who you see.
5.Self-Actualization - Fulfilling personal potential, self-growth, creativity, authenticity, realizing one’s true self.
“Becoming the best version of yourself is exhausting—can I be the pretty-good version today?” - Author.
Universal Obstacles:
Fear of success or failure, perfectionism
Cultural or familial pressure to conform
Uncertainty about purpose or path
Mental Health Strategies:
Existential Therapy: Explores meaning, legacy, identity, and purpose.
Visioning Exercises + Goal Mapping: Turns purpose into grounded plans.
Facts:
Structural barriers and financial pressures delay or derail many Black men’s paths to creative or soul-aligned careers.
Lack of time for dreams: Most people spend over 85% of their waking hours on survival-based work, leaving little room for personal growth or purpose.
Internalized messages say success only looks one way.
Gatekeeping: Many experience “code-switching fatigue” and the challenge of being authentic in white-dominated spaces.
Peak Experiences:
• Creating something that feels like your soul on display—art, music, a business.
• Losing track of time in creative flow.
• Having an epiphany that clarifies your life purpose.
• Letting go of fear to live fully as yourself.
• Helping someone in a way only you could.
For you to move forward or higher you may have to face and change the belief systems that no longer serve you. If you decide to change your belief systems, you may find that the people will change as well. It is up to you to have the courage to face your worst and best self, past, present, and future. Therapy is a opportunity for you not to face it alone.
🌟Be Present For Peak Experiences
1. Slow Down and Notice the Moment
• Take a deep breath.
• Use your senses to anchor yourself: What do you see, feel, hear, smell?
• Label the emotion or thought—without judgment.
• Whether it’s joy, awe, or sacred grief—feel it in your body.
2. Practice Gratitude in Real Time
🙏🏽 “Thank You for this. I see it. I receive it.”
• Silently or aloud, acknowledge the sacredness of the moment.
3. Reflect & Integrate
Afterward, ask yourself:
• What did I learn?
• What did this moment awaken in me?
Meditating, contemplating, prayer, or practicing stillness with it helps transform a peak moment into a personal compass.
Email: IsiahLacefield@Gmail.com
Phone: 201-877-1879
Website: LiveLongNFree.com
Social Media: LiveLongNFree