Ambivalence, which way is best?!?!

Ambivalence is not the same as indifference, with which it is often confused. Someone in an ambivalent state of mind is experiencing an excess of opinion, not an absence of it. An ambivalent person may feel very strongly about the subject at hand without reaching anything like a coherent point of view on it.

_

*A technique used to help with ambivalence is listening to Your Body VS Your Mind

It’s so much easier to listen to what’s going through your head. For one thing, it speaks in your native tongue. It can be much trickier to listen to your body, because there are no words. Instead, your body speaks in physical symptoms, including:

Disrupted sleep - insomnia or sleeping too much

Cravings for sugar or other comfort foods or substances

Hives or other skin eruptions

Chronic infection

Heart palpitations

A knot in the stomach

Poor digestion

Nausea

Restlessness, twitching, or nervous habits

Chronic pain, such as in the back, neck, shoulders, or jaw

Headaches

Grinding teeth

_

First, pay attention to your body’s reaction to this advice: stay.

How does that make your body feel. More relaxed or expansive? More tight or contracted? Lighter than air? Heavier than a stone? How do you feel when you imagine staying in that relationship? Do you harbor a feeling of dread or a feeling of acceptance?

_

Now, pay attention to your body’s reaction to this advice: leave.

How does that make your body feel? More relaxed or expansive? More tight or contracted? Lighter than air? Heavier than a stone? How do you feel when you imagine leaving that relationship? Do you harbor a feeling of dread or a feeling of relief?

When you tune into your body, it’s like using a compass. You can discern which directions are right and wrong for you, by noticing the feelings that arise. The wrong path conjures feelings of contraction, tension, or dread. The right path inspires feelings of expansion, relief, or joyful optimism.

_

Now that you’re listening to your body and finding direction, here’s the North Star: Whatever your next move and whatever happens, don’t settle for love that’s fleeting or merely based on the excitement of new romance. And don’t go searching for love. Instead, think about the kind of person you want to be with, and then become that person. For instance, if you put your energy toward being a loving and faithful partner who is willing to communicate and grow, you’ll attract someone who is loving and faithful and willing to communicate and grow. Setting your sights on your own likeness of being, you may attract other likeness of being.